The Executioner’s Bong – An Obituary Notice

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Dear Readers,

I’ve enjoyed writing The Bong for the past five years, however I’ve decided it’s time to call it a day.

As per most of my posts to date, here’s a protracted epitaph when a couple of sentences would suffice.

 As the title of the blog suggests, the objective was never particularly serious or commercial, more so a recipe of cynicism, tactics, sneering and cavalier punctuation, and bizarrely it seemed to strike a chord with a wing of the toffee fanbase.

Whether it be character assassinations, sopranos simile’s or haphazard tactical ponderings, it’s been fun writing.

I’ve equally enjoyed interacting with fellow toffees via the blog, and speaking to them via Twitter, or in person in pubs and at the match. This been marvellous, which is remarkable given that I’m a very miserable man who generally avoids social interaction at all costs. I’ve been called all sorts along the way, like, (best one being “pseudo intellectual bullshitter”) but on the whole its been ace.

Sometimes things just run their course, though, and I think it’s time to put the plug in the jug.

Thanks again to all those who have supported and constructively interacted, and to those who’ve given me exposure to greater audiences along the way. In truth I’d probably have kiboshed it a year or so ago if it wasn’t for the positivity you’ve all thrown my way, so thanks lids.

All the best


51 thoughts on “The Executioner’s Bong – An Obituary Notice

  1. I just loved reading your work! Intelligent, funny, passionate and with the all important ingredient of opinion based on fact and analysis. Thank you so much for entertaining, amusing and educating a fellow passionate Bluenose. Good luck mate!

  2. I’m really sorry to hear that, I will miss your interesting and entertaining analysis!

    Thanks for sharing all your musings with fellow blues

  3. Genuinely gutted to hear this. Wasn’t always a commenter on these but always checked back to see if a new article was up. Thanks for a great few years of insight and wit.

  4. Enjoyed the writing ,I’ve enjoyed the thinking and I’ve enjoyed humour, sad day I will miss your comments Good luck

  5. Noooooo! You’re the best out there! Funny whilst being completely informative!
    Monetise this how the other jokers are and keep going!

  6. Well I for one, will really miss your analysis and wit. It was always fascinating and an eye opener on many occasions. Thank you for all you have shared.

  7. Chanced upon your blog a few years ago and have loved every update from then on. The writing was excellent and some of the insight was superb. I will miss this immensely and one of my fondest memories was your excoriating dissection of a transfer window from two years ago – an absolute triumph. I wish you well good sir!

  8. Shame you’re calling it a day, was always the highlight of newsnow seeing you had a new something online, all the best in the future

  9. Hi bong, long time reader. Shame, but thanks for the reports over the years. Maybe pass the baton onto a new Bong? McBain.

  10. Can you at least apply for the managers job or at least do a regular article for the RS Echo? Loved reading your tactical analysis and your potential transfer targets. You know your onions and this really was the best blog bar none. I hope all the positivity in this comments section prompts you to change your miserable arse mind.

  11. I have been a regular visitor since coming across this site a few years ago, and have found yours the most insightful and reflected analysis anywhere on the Web. In addition to the obvious entertainment value I actually felt a bit wiser for reading it where other EFC fora so often leaves me feeling a bit more frustrated! Would very much hope to see you back in business, but until then thanks for your excellent contributions!

  12. Very sorry to see you stop posting. I always considered your analysis some of the best available. All the best and thanks for all the work you put into this over the years. I demand you come back and do analysis for our CL games next season. 😉 Take care lid. Stop by GoT sometime if you get bored.

  13. Sad to see you go, but you’ve got to do what you’ve got to do. Thanks for the marvellous read over the years.

  14. Pingback: RE-READ Everton FC news and transfer rumours: Premier League fixture changes, Blues linked with bid for Bury midfielder, Browning speaks | Liverpool news

  15. I’ve been reading your blog updates for at least the past 4 years and have always loved your writing and view. This comes as a bummer as you filled part of a void our club has when it comes to good fan created content. That said i recall when you originally wrote that this was mostly a learning exercise for yourself with tactics and data and I’m just happy i got to go along for the ride. Thanks for what you’ve done and good luck.

  16. Your insightful nerdchat and guffawing put-downs have provided most of the genuine highlights of being an Evertonian in his rather half arsed, armchair bound, tired ‘Dad years’. I offer you sir, a heartfelt handshake, and a tearful, lingering, standing ovation. Bravo sir, Bravo….

  17. I always looked forward to and enjoyed reading your posts,every detail and covered.Best of luck to you in the future

  18. So sorry to see this, didn’t find this blog until Martinez took over and have logged on religiously ever since. All the best, and hope to see you resurface in the future.

  19. The best blog on the blues. Very very good work, In fact would go as far as saying I would pay to read it. Really sorry you are hanging up the keyboard, always sad when a week passes and there’s no match report, now it is going to be years.

  20. ”Always leave them wanting more” eh Bong? A truly class act, u and ‘This is not football’ the two best Everton sites on the web (or anywhere else for that matter)…thanks for all ur posts over the years, enjoyed them immensely.

  21. Really sorry you’ve decided to call it a day; the general pap dished out by hacks and footy has-beens is everywhere – EB was the oasis of reason in an otherwise celeb-centred, trivialisation of the beautiful game.

    Well done and thanks –


  22. Massive shame but all the best. Often recited your blog to sound like i know what i’m talking about in the pub.
    Best match report and analysis I’ve read.

  23. Really sorry to see you go. I felt we were lucky having somebody like yourself giving your time to give a bit of insight into all things Everton. Chico Zoul better not throw the cyber towel in that’s all ill say! Truly mate good luck for the future and thank you for all your efforts you’ll be missed!

  24. First Jonny Vaughn leaves the warm up on TS now this terrible news. I don’t know where my next laugh is going to come from. Really enjoyed your blog and this will leave a real void.

  25. I always looked forward to your analyses and breakdowns of various games each week. You’ll be missed. But thanks for all you’ve done. I hope you leave the site up…

  26. I keep coming back in the hope that something would have happened, something would have changed and urge to write just one more has come back. But even after a 4-0 whipping of Villa there is nothing, I won’t give up hopefully one day you will be back or will have encouraged someone to take over.

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